Need help with my 2 1/2 yr old son.?

My son is 2 1/2 yrs old. me and my wife are divorced and have are own places. We have joint custody of my son and my 10 month old daughter. I work different hours everyday and she goes to school and works odd hours too. The children are in Daycare at least 40 hours a week. The problem is that my son is having bad fits. He starts screaming, crying, kicking and hitting. And that's just trying to get him in the car after work or even going to the dr. to even sitting at home. We have tried spending more time with him to even ignoring him and not paying attention thinking he would stop, but it has not helped. The Dr. said it might be his wisdom teeth going in making him act this way. But his wisdom teeth came in 6 months ago. Any help i would love to hear from you. Thanks.

Need help with my 2 1/2 yr old son.?
I have the same problem but I think maybe worse with my 2 1/2 year old son, at least your doc gave you a possible, ours says he is 2 1/2 that is what 2 1/2 year olds do. I feel your pain but dont have an answer, my husband and myself our at our wits end. We have tried, punishment, reward, spending quality time etc, etc. I to a certain extent do believe that it is because he is 2, he is really learning he has a voice and wants to be heard, but is at the stage where he cant fully put it to words, I think my son wants me to read his mind and gets very angry when suprise, I cant. I do know that there are alot of "misbehaved" children in daycare and he very well may be infulenced by there behavior. I wish you the best. Hope someone can help better than me. Good luck Daddy
Reply:I have 2 girls now 13 and 8. With my past experience kids in daycare pick up bad habits from the other kids. Your son, I am sure knows something is different but he is only 2 1/2 years old. If he hasn't done this in the past you might want to check the daycare. Just pop up from time to time to check things out. I have worked 3rd shift most of my kids lives and still working just to avoid daycare. Not saying all daycare are bad but I have had bad experiences. I best one I had found was on at a church that was like a school. My oldest went there and not only did they teach her but they had a better handle on the kids. Hope this helps.
Reply:My son did the same thing (I was in the Navy my husband was the golf pro on base, so our time was very limited). We hired a nanny to stay home with him and he stopped acting out so much because he wasnt being dragged from one place to another all the time. He felt safe and secure, he was always home and he was easier to handle and so much more calm tempered! I know it is difficult given you situation, but I'm sure the two of you can come up with a decent solution. Hang in there, it does get better. If you cant afford a nanny, get a baby sitter to come to the house to watch him (have the sitter come to either your house or your ex's depending on where your son will be during that week). It works.. it may take a while but he will calm down.
Reply:I'm very sorry to hear your troubles with your little lad but i've got to say i think over 40 hours in day care is too much. i mean is he getting the proper love and care and time and attention that a two and a half year old needs. Does he seem a bit pissed off with you or is he normally quite loving. I don't have an easy answer for you but i would be worried he is being neglected at day care. Perhaps you can take 2 weeks off work to reasure him and see if his behavior changes when he does not have to go to day care. this is a very important time for your little boy and i'm glad you have taken the time to do something about it. It could also just be down to "the terrible two's" good luck my friend i wish you well
Reply:It sounds as if your son might be feeling insecure with all this moving him around so much. And he may be having anxiety because nothing seems to be the same each day except daycare and it seems the hours there are not stable. With you and you wife being separated and each of you gone so much also--that is a bit much for the little fella.


I hope you and your ex do not argue in front of him, that would add greatly to his insecurity.Maybe if you wife could take a semester off from school she could help him a lot.


I know from experience that divorce is hard for small children


even without the problem you child has.I was lucky there.


I wish you all the luck in the world in getting this straightened out for everyone's peace of mind.!!! God Bless !!
Reply:It sounds like you are trying to do all the right things...but just remember that tantraums are a normal thing for toddlers. If the behavior seems WAY-WAY out of control (all kids have tantrums but if he is violent or having unusual meltdowns harmful to self or others) check out the daycare environment and see if there might be anything there stressing him out. Also, remmeber that children this age DO have very strong emotions (just think about how hard he laughs when he's having fun!) and they just don't have the ability like we adults to control themselves or express themselves. It helped me to adopt this perspective because they eventually grow out of this phase.





There is no one magic trick, but I've found that two things really help: preparing them for a transition (ie: "Okay, in 5 minutes or when the water is out of the tub or when we say bye bye to everyone it's time to go" and keep repeating it) and changing the subject ("Look!! It's a FIRE truck! Look!! Oh WOW!!).


Ignoring never seemed to work for me. It seemed to sometimes make the fits worse. Just remember that sometimes they just happen and this will help you to relax about it a little more. If all else fails, just take a deep breath and hang on for the ride! Just think when they are in their teens and telling us they know better than us we'll miss this age!





God Bless! You'll be fine and he will too. The fact that you care enough to try and find an answer says a great deal.
Reply:Sounds like a 2 year old. Give him clear consequences for actions. I am a bit worried about your doctor telling you his wisdom teeth are the problem. They come in late teenage years onwards. It could be his two year old molars but I doubt they would be causing the problems



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