I'm having a problem...?

Well I am 8 weeks pregnant. The baby's father used to be really strung out on drugs. He's supposed to be recovering from all of that. But I just called and he sounds really messed up. I've told him time and time again that if he lies to me, I'm gone, but that was before there was a baby in the picture. Today he got fired from his job that he just got back on Monday of last week. He's been in dire pain from a bad tooth and the Dr couldn't even get him in until today. Turns out, he didnt even go to the Dr and hasn't been going to work like he says he has. I gave him some of my pain meds from a back problemI have, but I'm not the only person he's been getting pain meds from. I found an empty bottle of liquid hydrocodine in his back seat. We were supposed to go to spend all weekend together for his b'day and he doesnt want to anymore. I've been bending over backwards for him and all he can do is keep lying and going behind my back. I dont know how to get through to him. Help?





Thank you.

I'm having a problem...?
Listen hon, I know you are afraid right now, and I don't know if you have family to help you through this or not, but you need them now. When a person is a compulsive liar they are in denial about themselves, and you need to be stable for yourself and the baby. The child's emotional well being is more important than all the health issue he/she will have later on. I think you should dump this guy, find someone who really loves you and move on. Its scarey, but what is more scarey, marring a drug addict who is a liar and getting into God knows what, or your own personal health and safety and the safety of your child as well? I would also talk to a legal aid lawyer and get full custody of the child from birth, do this now, you don't want to fight him later when he is all completely healed and wanting joint custody!!!! Get full custody now, dump him, find a new boyfriend that you enjoy and love and returns this to you because life is too short to live with regret and its too short to spend years fighting custody, you have a good life don't let HIM screw up your plans for a future family and the well being of your child.....take care Heather
Reply:Hmm, no offence, but you should dump him, really. He seems like an *** and from what I've read you seem like you could get somebody way better then him. You don't need him and neither does your baby, having a father that does drugs is worse then having no father at all.





I'm sure you could find another, nicer guy.
Reply:Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do. People on drugs don't really think or know much. Your pregnant, I think you need to stay away from him until he's clean, just tell him that. You need to think about this baby, that's the important part! Good Luck!
Reply:Hi There, You can ask God to help you out with this. God will help you out. He is there for you. And he loves you . God bless you and your baby. Also God does love your baby too. Be brave. Good luck on it.
Reply:Sounds like you're already taking care of a baby, let alone the one in your uterus.





It is not your responsibility to take care of this guy, and it would be a lot healthier for you to get this guy out of your life ASAP. I know the feelings get in the way of looking at things rationally, but listen to your friends %26amp; family: what do THEY think about him? Sometimes it's easier to see the reality of a situation when we're not in it, so I'd really look objectively at the situation %26amp; get as far away from him as you can.
Reply:You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Unfortunately, some people need to learn the hard way and it sounds like that's what's going to happen in his case. Your focus needs to be on yourself and your baby. You have someone way more important to worry about. He needs to get his life in order not you and from what you've said, he's not ready to do that. Don't let him take you down with him. Live for the future which is your baby and not for the past which is him. I really hope you put your baby and yourself first. Don't look back but forward to a bright and happy future with your baby. It's possible to move on - you just have to believe it!!! Good Luck!
Reply:Lots of people are going to lecture you about looking after your baby. But thats not the real question here, its just a compounding factor.





This guy is your baby's father, so he will always be in your life now.





As far as you and he as a couple. I would advise against it at this point. You need to be calm and stress free during the pregnancy. Tests have proved that stress can lead to complications.





Also it sounds like he has a lot of problems on his own part never mind in a relationship with you. I think you should let him go for now. Let him sort himself out.





Have a zero tolerance about lying. Have respect for yourself. You shouldn't have had to tell him more than twice not to lie to you. You have to give him tough love. Hes like an errant puppy. You are permissive so he is walking all over you. Say "no". Be prepared to go it alone.





The problem with your thinking is clear to me- and that is that you think it is up to you to get through to him. Its actually a case of him knowing you dont tolerate nonsense and coming to you having fixed himself up- otherwise go it alone and there will be another guy





Good luck
Reply:If you want to keep your baby plan on not having him in your life...he will screw it up or leave you until he gets a firm grip on his addiction. Sounds like he's strung out again.


STOP ''social working' your man. He needs professional help and you deserve more out of life than an unrepentant junkie at this point!! You're not being cruel or selfish to back away.


Predisposition to addiction is genetic. Ask Daniel Smith. Get help and lots of it. Good luck and happy life, Manda.
Reply:Well, it seems the obvious choice to me is to leave him. I suggest that you


1. Kill the guy that answered first,


2. Leave him and find someone who will really love and care for you and your child.


It is entirely up to you, but I suggest you take my advice. I grew up with a drug addicted mother, and no father. Trust me, you don't want your child ending up like his father. leave him behind and find someone new.



myspace images